the PINKY promise

 

Smokes curling my car chocked me. "Shit! forgot to lower the window" I said myself.

Legs over the brakes, hands on my steers, cigarette in my mouth - there lied me, a 33-year-old ugly man in Ford Figo lost in the beautiful MOUNT WITHER lake. Smoking up in the car with the scenery of the lake has been my daily routine since 28 August 2019. I know what makes me drive-thru here- the memories. The memories that I want to forget, The memories that I hope weren't created at all!

Dragging myself to the present, I wiped my eyes. Threw the cigarette out and geared up to CROSS FAITH homes. 

I halted my car, took my backpack, and marched towards the welcome desk. Mother Catherine was busy at her desk checking up some lists.

I went and stood before her. She did not notice me. I knocked on the table and then she looked up.

"Oh! Ben" with astonishment she removed her reading glasses and stood up.

I just smiled with no answer. She rubbed her veils. Clearing away the awkwardness, she spoke - "Okay.......So.......came to see Jane?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, Ben. I'll call her out. " pointing her hand to the lonely garden she said. I poorly smiled thank you and stepped towards it.

It was a hot day. I removed my jacket, threw it over the bench, and sat near it. All I could see were just plain grasses with big trees where stuck kites were hanging.

"Do I have to be here?" I thought to myself and turned down to the grass. There my eyes got stuck with a pebble that laid between my legs and that took me away. I gave out a deep breath and closed my eyes. Though I did not want it to happen, it took me to the memories of Marianne.

Marianne - my wife. My lovely wife.

She was my friend, then became my lover and I made her my wife. In every role, she gave her best. She loved me to the core. We had no days without arguments. She used to yell at me. After a while, she would be coming back running to hug me. I would smile and yes we will lose our fights.  Everything seemed perfect with her.

Marianne was a teacher at St.Aruvielle's school - a church turned school run by Mother Catherine. 

She had the talents to become whatever she wanted to be, but she chose to be a teacher. You ask her why? 

"I loooooovvveee kids Ben! " she would say.

And that made her the favorite teacher in her school, but for Marianne, it's Jane who is her favorite. 

Orphaned by birth, 4 yr old Jane got raised up in CROSS FAITH homes by mother Catherine. Marianne is everything to her. Every Wednesday, Marianne used to cook cookies by herself and would give them to Jane. In return, Marianne's cheeks get filled up with kisses from tiny lips of Jane.

Whenever we talk, most of our conversation would be about her school and the school part gets no filled without Jane. On Sundays, I would go fishing behind my yard and Marianne would accompany me by flying kites. In the mid of the fishing, I used to hear 

"Bennnn! Kite got stuck theree! Aaaaaagh! the poor wind". I used to smile at her and she shows her pity face and says

"Help me over honey! Please!".

Every time I assure to get her something, she wears her desire face  and asks

"Pinky promise?"

Every night in the mid of the sleep, she used to wake me up with shock and would ask

"Ben! Do I look fat ?"

and that wakes me up!

Every night we used to drive to the MOUNT WITHER lake, stop the car, and walk along holding hands. When Marianne becomes tired we used to sit by the lake dipping our legs. Her head over my shoulder, we used to talk about the future and smile at the moon.

Everything seemed smooth between us. Foreverness seemed to have meaning when she came into my life. I did not know her end was nearing. If I would've known that, I could've met her before I did. I could've spent more time with her than I did. I could've lived more days with her than I did. If I knew she's gonna go soon, I would've not let her go out on that day, I would've not let her die. She went away with her memories left and I could not live with them. Every time I go to the lake......Our last conversation comes to my mind.

             ******************************************************************

"Mmmmmmm! The moonlight is so good, right? honey!" I told to Marianne brushing her hair. She was lying over my lap.

"Yess! It's good!" she said with a smile.

"In future, I want my dog to be there with me in the right, you over the left and looking at the moon...." she stopped me midway.

"You don't want babies?" looking at me she asked.

"Ok! Ok!" my baby in my left, my dog over the right, my honey over my lap staring at the moon and I would picture it from behind and that would lie as a frame in our room" keeping my hand as frames I turned to her.

"Woohoo! Ben's mode on ! " she said and laughed.

I too laughed.

My legs felt chill in the still water. So I just gave a shake with my leg and

"Ouch!" I shouted. Something hit my pinky toe. I leaned and took some pebble, No pebbles. wait ..... a pebbled pebble. It looked strange. Two pebbles together! I tried to drift them apart, but I couldn't. I tried really hard but it was of no use. I stared at the pebble, thought for a while, and smiled. I turned to Marianne

"Honey!"

I gave her the pebble.

"Now try to drift them apart"

she tried but she couldn't.

"Try hard," I said.

"I'm not muscular,"  she said.

"Okay! Hear this! Try hard to drift them apart. You can't. They won't get separated. You may hammer it down and break them into two, but for sure, when they get separated, they are not gonna be two complete pebbles. They gonna eat up some part of the other. Why so? because they are meant to be together, they are not made to get drifted apart. That's their beauty."

I took the pebble and brought it near her eyes and said

"And honey! You are my pebble" I told her with a smile.

She was still looking at my eyes. 

"Honey?" I said.

"Wow! that could be the cringest scene I could ever see!" she replied and that changed my face.

She started to giggle. She laughed really hard. 

she held my hand and laughingly said-" Sorry honey! Actually that was  sweet!"I still stared at her and turned away.

"Honey! I'm serious. It was really sweet of you to say that" she said.

I did not reply. she smiled at me.

After some moment of silence, she spoke-"Maybe it would be useful if you find a triplet pebble-like that"

"why three?" I asked.

"I want us all 3 to be like that"

"Who thr...."I stopped with my mouth open. I turned suddenly to her with astonishment. She smiled.

I couldn't. I was in shock. 

She took her bag and gave me something like a thermometer.

I wowed my mouth again.

"Positive?" with wide-open eyes I asked her.

she smiled. She took my hand and spoke -" yes honey! I'm pregnant"

I was still in shock but with happiness over my face.

"We're gonna have a......"

"Baby!" she completed me with a smile.

             ******************************************************************                     

"Uncle Ben!" little Jane walking brought me back to the present. 

I wiped my tears and kicked the pebble away and saw her with a smile. she had two cute plaits, her tiny fingers holding a letter, and pink frocks added more beauty.

She walked to me and looked up.

"Today is a special day, U know?" she asked.

I did not react to it.

She frowned and kicked my legs - "Ask me why!" she said.

"Why? " I asked soberly.

"Because it's the 50th week you still coming to gimme cookies. Yaaaayyyyy!!!" she shouted lifting her hand and legs.

I smiled.

"So, I've decided to give you a thank you note for that" saying she gave me the letter. I took it and patted her 

"Thank You!" I said.

She gave her hand to me signifying - Gimme something.

I took my backpack, took the brown packet and gave her. 

She smiled at me -"Thank You! Bye Mr.Ben and read the letter!" she said and was about to run away.

"Wait! Wait!" I stopped her. She turned to me.

I breathed and moved to her.

"Jane! I've something to talk to you".

she turned completely to me now.

"Jane! I know you since you came to Marianne's class. She used to talk every time about you. She loves you a lot"

she smiled with wide cheeks.

"U know! since I lost Marianne, I'm not myself. I've lost my every bit with her. I feel numb. I have no reason to live. But....."

I moved closer to her.

"But whenever I see you, I feel like Marianne is with me. I don't know, was it because Marianne loved you so much, or was it because I love you. I don't know! I feel like you'll add up colors in my life. I just wanna be with you and I've thought about it so long, even Marianne would love it" saying I kneeled in two legs towards her. Still, she was shorter than me. Rubbing her hairs, I spoke

"Jane! Would you allow me to be your daddy?"

Jane was speechless. I waited for her reply.

The wind blew hard, the stuck kite fell.

"If you be my daddy, will you cook me more cookies?" with bulgy eyes in her tiny face- little Jane asked me innocently.

I smiled and stood up. "A lot more than cookie dear! I promise" I said.

She gave me her tiny finger -"Pinky promise?" she asked.

"Pinky promise!" giving her my finger I said.

"Then you already are my daddy!" shouting excitingly she hugged my legs.

"I'll go pack my things then, daddy!" she said laughingly covering her mouth and ran like a little puppy.

I felt lighter. I turned back and saw Mother Catherine looking at me with a smile. she lifted her hand and blessed me. she kept her hand in her lap signifying me to look at my pocket.

I checked my pockets and took my cigarette pack out. I smiled. I tossed the pack in the bin.

"Not anymore!" I said.

She looked at me with suspicion.

"Pinky promise,"  I said and smiled.

I looked down and noticed Jane's tiny letter. smiling, I opened it-

"Uncle Ben!

THANK YOU! 

It's been 50 weeks of getting yummy cookies.

Thank you so much.

Bye, uncle ben!!

wait! Can I call you daddy?"

Yours charmingly,

Mr.nothing